YMESSED UP LIFE
Wednesday, May 07, 2008 - 7:33 PM
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Last two nights were terrible. I was extreme emotionally unstable due to all the problems and stress faced. At one point of time, I felt suicidal. Life seems meaningless. But thankfully, there’s some kind soul out there who calmed me there and encouraged me to stay positive.
Even so, tears accompanied me to bed and woke me up with a pair of puffy eyes.
This morning, I was so nervous for my presentation that I went toilet thrice. Finally after more than 10 rounds of rehearsal, I managed to control myself and pulled through the presentation. With all the effort and time put in during the last two months, we managed to clinch the Silver position. Furthermore, my team was selected to take part in the SPF WITS Convention, where all the best performance teams from every department in the Singapore Police Force will compete against each other for the overall top three.
Happy about the results? I can say, mixed feelings.
On the happy side, I am glad and proud that I managed to complete the bulk of a 12 person project and helped the team clinch silver. As for the down side, I think I had begun to have phobia in the project, after spending so much time on it. And I am tired of it. Yes, I had learnt a lot from this project. But somehow, I had lost the enthusiasm and strength.
Searching for my source of motivation and inspiration.
Something unexpected but not surprised. Dropped by the gym during lunch today, and discover strength level went down one notch. And weight went down 2 kg within the last 5 days. Probably due to the frequent toilet runs and lost in appetite.
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Finally saw the other side of you.
You can practically fall in love with a new one within such a short time.
The one I love most is no longer the same as the one I used to love anymore.
The one who still love you is also no longer the same as the one who used to love you most.
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[;n0stalgIa-n0xiD]